Portofino

If you've ever pondered life's existential mysteries while paddling out to meet a submerged Jesus, San Fruttuoso Bay's kayak tour to Cristo degli Abissi is your absurdly picturesque spiritual pilgrimage. Submerged off the Ligurian coast since 1954, this barnacle-covered statue was initially sunk as a tribute to divers lost at sea-though most visitors today seem to prefer snapping underwater selfies to quiet contemplation of mortality. Plan at least a few weeks ahead, as this iconic underwater deity draws curious pilgrims, camera-wielding scuba divers, and slightly bewildered kayakers year-round-a morning paddle around 9 am offers clearer waters and fewer tourists elbowing you out of frame. Budget around 40-60 euros for a guided tour and remember essentials: sunscreen, a waterproof bag, snacks, and a sense of humor (you'll need it as you awkwardly tug on your snorkeling gear mid-kayak). Ultimately, whether you're in it for spiritual reflection, maritime history, or just to casually mention at future cocktail parties that you once kayaked out to meet Jesus underwater, paddling out to Cristo degli Abissi is the kind of quirky, mildly irreverent adventure you never knew you'd cherish.

Paraggi Beach is the postcard-perfect stretch of coastline that seems planted by some mischievous deity intent on perpetuating the myth of Italian perfection-turquoise waters so vivid they're borderline insulting, surrounded by lush hillsides dotted with villas that whisper of glamor, scandal, and sunglasses large enough to conceal any number of sins. Located just a stone's throw from the more famous Portofino (where movie stars and oligarchs pretend to ignore each other), Paraggi offers a slightly toned-down allure-think of it as Portofino's casual-chic sibling who traded high heels for comfy espadrilles. Arrive obscenely early (trust me, sunrise could save you from jockeying for premium towel real estate), plan at least a fortnight ahead in peak season to outsmart the jet-set crowd, and budget generously-around €50 to snag a lounger and umbrella for the day, because even paradise has tariff rates. Pack sunscreen, sunglasses, and a book pretentious enough to spark envy; leave dignity behind, though-you'll likely trip over your flip-flops gazing at the sheer neon audacity of the waters. Paraggi Beach is worth the expense and mild embarrassment for the bragging rights alone: how many people can casually toss off the line, "Ah yes, I nearly drowned in beauty, sipping Aperol Spritz beneath the judgmental gaze of an Italian nonna"?

A day trip to Cinque Terre is the Italian coastal equivalent of speed dating-five vividly charming villages lined up, all exhaustingly picturesque, daring you to keep pace as you hop from pastel-hued cottages to cliffside gelato stands. Over centuries, locals have heroically defied gravity (and common sense) to construct these terraced vineyards and labyrinthine staircases, giving the UNESCO-crowned villages their legendary reputation-part postcard, part cardio challenge. Go early, preferably before the hordes of Instagram pilgrims descend around mid-morning, so you can savor a cappuccino by the harbor without dodging selfie sticks. You'll need comfy shoes, water, sunscreen, and a forgiving attitude towards tight schedules, since the trains here run on "Italian time"-that is, whenever they feel like it. Set aside roughly €80-€100 to comfortably sample fresh pesto pasta, local Vermentino wine, and the requisite seafood cone. Reserve tickets and train passes a few weeks ahead if you visit during summer, or risk being stranded in a mass of sweaty, frazzled tourists. Despite the crush, the Cinque Terre day trip remains blissfully worth it, if only to return home and smugly announce you've hiked medieval vineyards, dodged aggressive seagulls, and survived the scenic chaos of Italy's most adorably inconvenient villages.