Norfolk Island

Strolling through Kingston and Arthur's Vale Historic Area feels a bit like attending a cheerful picnic on grounds that were once Australia's most notorious convict hellhole-only without the cholera and casual brutality. Here, amidst the graceful Georgian ruins set dramatically against Norfolk Island's rugged coastline, you can almost hear ghostly whispers of the 19th-century convicts who built these walls under the watchful gaze of humorless British officers. Go early-just after dawn-when sunlight softens the old stone buildings and the ceaselessly photogenic cows (yes, cows wander freely, supervising visitors with bovine skepticism). Plan a day ahead, carry a sturdy pair of walking shoes and a pre-packed lunch, and keep aside around $20 for an interpretive guidebook or a cheeky souvenir mug celebrating your brush with Australia's gloomy past. While the history books might paint this World Heritage Site in grim shades of penal cruelty, today it is paradoxically serene, oddly romantic, and utterly unmissable-if only to regale friends back home with your edgy escapade through one of colonial history's finest contradictions.

Picture yourself at dawn-a mercilessly early dawn, mind you-standing on a gently rocking boat off Norfolk's salty coast, clutching a lukewarm coffee and breathing air imbued with seaweed and ancient mariner bravado. Yes, you're signing up for one of these fishing charters, a ritual blending camaraderie, mild seasickness, and occasional existential questioning against a backdrop of glittering coastal waters. Since the days when scurvy-riddled sailors squinted suspiciously at the horizon, Norfolk has been the playground of whiskered anglers, determined weekend warriors armed with overly expensive gear, and tourists who can't quite tell a mackerel from a minnow. Aim to book your trip a week or two ahead; shell out roughly $150-$200 per person to ensure you're not sharing space with a bachelor party intent on reliving "Jaws"; and pack sunscreen, water-resistant layers, shades, and extra snacks-because nobody wants to barter for your buddy's granola bars after four empty-handed hours desperate for a nibble. Despite the ungodly hours and faint aroma of diesel and fish guts that may linger on your hands for a day or two, hooking one of Norfolk's prized local species-perhaps a speckled trout or a stubborn red drum-is genuinely thrilling. Plus, even if the fish don't bite, rest assured the sea spray will pepper your stories at dinner parties for months, becoming saltier and more heroic with every retelling.

Phillip Island: a windswept nugget of Aussie wilderness that strikes the perfect compromise between your inner Attenborough and your cynical, city-weary soul. Join a Phillip Island Conservation Tour, where you'll wander alongside earnest conservationists who speak passionately about fairy penguins-tiny tuxedo-clad birds that waddle ashore nightly like overdressed partygoers returning sheepishly from an all-night gala. To catch these classy seabirds at their best (and most delightfully awkward), time your visit around sunset and wear layers-it's Australia, but this is penguin territory, so it actually gets chilly. Budget-wise, pencil in about $50 AUD per head, book at least two weeks ahead, and don't forget binoculars, because nothing ruins penguin-watching more than squinting cynically into the twilight. Phillip Island has survived its past lives as farmland, motor racing mecca, and surf refuge to reclaim its rightful role as a haven for wildlife oddities-like echidnas, wallabies, and those impossibly charming penguins. Whether you're a nature enthusiast here for some ecological soul-cleansing or a skeptic just chasing a great anecdote to impress fellow drinkers at the pub, Phillip Island is worth every minute-and every shiver.